Thursday, December 31, 2009

A New Decade

New Years Eve, in general, sucks. The pressure to make it something meaningful and lots of fun, while somehow marking the passage of time, raises expectations that are never met. I do best with a small group of friends and a large amount of alcohol. Last year's baby bump prevented the latter, and for that I had the most dull New Years of ever. This year I am recovering from the Great Christmas Plague, and I fear it won't be much better. Plus I have a baby. So the wild partying? Kind of out. Not that, if I actually had some wild friends around here, I wouldn't shove him on my parents (sorry Jack!) and go out, but seeing as I don't....yeah. Lets just say the day is here and plans are still up in the air.

While this decade was pretty amazing for me, 2009 was a pretty crap year to be honest. I know that's a horrible thing to say about the year in which my beautiful son was born, but it's the truth. It was the unhappiest year I've had in a long, long time, a year in which I seemed to sit by and watch as my youth, my freedom, and any beauty I might have had drifted--no, galloped--away. In their place is something infinitely more precious and irreplaceable, that I know. But there is an adjustment to be made, and make it I will in the coming year.

Here's hoping that 2010 kicks 2009's ass.


Jessica said...

you are just as beautiful as you ever were. And though you may be one year older and one little boy less free, you still have your youth. You'll see that at the beginning of another decade, as you look back to now and think just how youthful you were and just how small your responsibilities were in comparison. Easy for me to say, I know. But enjoy this time. I always think I was happier somewhere else at some other time, and then years later I look back and realize just how good things were, and I never had the chance to enjoy them in the present. I wish I was in Cleveland, we'd show the town whats what for the new decade. Maybe next time. :)

Kendra said...

It's been years since I had a really exciting New Year's Eve, and my constant fatigue (thanks, three early risers!) makes me not even want to try. I hope you can make it to midnight, because I think I'm going to try but doubt I'll make it!

I understand what you mean about your youth and beauty. My sister always likes to say "standard disclaimer: I love my kids." And of course we know that sagging boobs are worth having those little miracles in our lives, but still, sometimes I think lovingly about the flat stomach I'll never have again even if I do lose weight. I'm sorry to hear that 2009 was so rotten, and I hope that 2010 can be the genuine beginning of something new--maybe facing head-on your proud, beautiful identity as a mom. It's hard to let go of what we were, but what we are now is pretty exceptional too.

Braidwood said...

"Here's hoping that 2010 kicks 2009's ass."

That's awesome! As my friend Alisa said, "2009 can suck it!! So ready for this year to be over. Here's to 2010 being the best for everbody-good things are to come!"

Unlike other years, I am completely ready to let go of this year and move on.

Congratulations on your baby!

mrs.notouching said...

2010 WILL be better. I promise. As far as partying and fun I always look at my parents - since we moved out they've been partying almost every weekend, I actually need to call my mother before 6pm if I want to have a sober conversation and not hear all of her sisters karaoke in the background. After kids grow up we will still have decades and decades or whatever we want to do!

Little Miss Moi said...

dear bex. I have to say I feel the same to an extent. I am a lot happier about myself and my role in the world since being back at work though. I hope you have a wonderful 2010 and get over the darn plague.

Bex said...

Thanks everyone for the encouragement. It means a lot to me, it really does.